Joe's Place

Sunset in the East

I’ve just made one of the hardest decisions of my life. I want to explain it.

I have been in an intermittent state of fear since Friday. Panic has come an gone. I have genuinely feared for my life a few times this week. Right now there is nothing I can do to help people in Japan. I’m just sat in my house, in a relatively normal town, in Japan. Life goes on. And then there’s an aftershock, or some new news about the nuclear plant. I don’t have running water. I’ve spent the week thinking about what fresh water and food I need to survive. It has not been pleasant.

 I feel so lucky to be safe and alive. Thousands of people are worse off.If my being here was helping them, was saving lives, was doing anything other than putting myself at risk then I would stay. I have a flight out of here tomorrow at 9:30pm. So far my thoughts have been that I want to act in a way that I can look myself in the eye after all this and say “I did the right thing”. Right now there are so many unknowns getting out of here seems the only sensible choice.

I will be dumping the remaining yen from my wallet into a red cross charity box as I leave. I will be leaving my keys with someone here.  My belongings in Japan can be passed on to the next person taking the position- they will be moving in to a furnished house. I’ll ask them to pass on what they feel the stuff is worth to the red cross. Any cleaning deposit from my landlord can go the same way.

My biggest regret will be that people will still need to do things in my house, and there are things like utility bills that need paying. I’ll do my best to make sure that happens. I’ll be leaving my bank book behind and my PIN number with someone I trust. 

I do feel like I am letting people down. But I feel like staying here any longer than I need to would be letting people down too. The people that have to stay, I really feel for you. But I am not helping you byu sticking around.

My keys are here. If you need shelter (1k from the sea, so probably not the best choice.)

I’ve had the choice to do this since the earthquake struck. I’ve been lugging a survival back around with me since saturday and it has my passport in it. People without passports can get new ones within a day. If you already have a flight booked, your airline will most likely let you change it free of charge. People with families here- if I was in your position, I’d be staying. I really do love the people out here, but my family is 6000 miles away. I would quite like a cup of tea and a hug.

Sorry, Japan. You’ve been good to me and I’m leaving you a better man than you found me. I have had an amazing time. I hope I’m doing the right thing.

Simple pleasures

Yesterday morning I found myself running along the Kamome bridge across the Tone river, listening to Furr by Blitzen Trapper, at sunrise. It was a magical thing. I was full of the joy of running, the feel of the wind on my face and the aesthetic pleasure of Simple Things.

A few hundred meters on, it suddenly occurred to me that I was running on a huge concrete structure suspended above a river 6000 miles from my place of birth listening to music on a device that would have been science fiction jut 5 years ago. I was wearing technical fabric clothing and trainers that were the results of years of R&D. The music itself was the result of thousands of years of human cultural progress and the fact that I had downloaded it from the Internet just meant that even more mind-boggling logistics were involved in placing me in the privileged position I occupied.

Simplicity is the tip of the iceberg.

tumblrbot asked: WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE INANIMATE OBJECT?

You are, tumblrbot, you are.

Leaving

I love Japan, I really do, but for the first time since I made the decision to go home, I feel actually excited about it.

Reflection

Reading through old blog posts reminds me how much I’ve changed. I really am not the person who came to Japan three years ago, so I don’t really have to worry about going home.